What is it with our vehicles and Louisiana?

It seems as if every time we drive to the Pelican state something goes nuts with our vehicle. We were doing the overnight drive from Tulsa to Houma again, this time with my brother Brook riding shotgun.

The battery light came on south of Lafayette, and right here the van just powered down. Rain was threatening, cars were coming and the wipers wouldn’t work, power steering failed and the thing wouldn’t crank.

I called our insurance company for some roadside assistance and it took the guy 10 minutes to figure out where we were…. My Dad drove up from Houma, we grabbed the kids and all the luggage and Christmas stuff (the first time in a long time I’ve been glad someone owned one of those monster-size SUVs) and headed to his house. We abandoned the van waiting for a 2-hour later tow. Hopefully, it will be brought to Houma and given a new alternator (if that’s what is wrong…) today so we can resume our holiday plans.

I’m telling you – I’m going to quit driving to or in or around or near this state.

Update 12/23:

We have our van back. My father knew a guy at a local shop who got the van off the USAA contracted tow truck (by the way, I continue to love and adore USAA as our provider for auto insurance). ‘The guy’ got the van around 1:00 or so yesterday. It was ready by 10:00 am this morning. Apparently, the belt around the alternator had shredded slowly and then eventually disintegrated. After that, it was just a matter of time. In retrospect, our lights had been dimming, the tachometer (that’s a tack-ometer not a taco-meter) had stopped working, and the wipers died a slow death. We had run the battery dry. This guy did a great job – even fixed whatever else was wrong – including a tire rod.

Once again, its amazing we got as far as we did and that the vehicle fell apart so close to Dad’s house – close enough he could come get us in the Nissan Armada, have the vehicle towed to his guy in Houma and we could pick it up so fast. This has happened to us a couple different times – once in Amarillo, another time returning to Owasso. The vehicles die at just the right moment. We end up stranded, but stranded in amazingly survivable situations. Having married such a Godly woman, I assume we’re getting all kinds of help from above for her sake.

Ethics in the Womb

Within 24 hours I found myself thinking about ethics, parental decisions, my personal convictions and embryos. There was this article in the Tulsa World that morning. My reading of the story is that after parents in India discover the gender of a soon to be born fetus, they may or may not decide to abort the pregnancy depending upon the gender of the child. That article can offer more insight into the cultural, political and religious influences and pressures Indian parents face. Christians reading the article might find themselves morally offended by the decision to abort a child because of her gender (and rightly so) but the pressures of their culture and location are incredibly real.

Later that same day I caught this story on NPR.  The thrust of the story again is simple – parents are pre-screening embryos who may or may not mature into full-term babies for tendencies or predispositions to disease. Some of that seems logical – if you have a choice, would you choose to have a child who will suffer from a fatal disease early in life, or one who instead only faces the routine allergies and colds?

The technology driving all this is called PGD preimplantation genetic diagnosis. Here technology gives parents opportunity to screen future children for certain health risks. Certainly the use of this technology is already controversial. You don’t have to think or listen hard to hear someone already in the background picking an argument claiming this will lead to parents picking their child’s hair color, athletic ability or shoe size. Add to that all the arguments people already get into surrounding in vitro fertilization and viewing abortion as a mother’s choice.

Part of what strikes me about this is the multiple layers of conflicting and changing logic wrapped up in these kinds of discussions. In India, abortion is legal, reflecting at least some sense of an idea that abortion is a woman’s choice, a woman’s right. Yet it is the choice of women and their husbands that is causing the uproar and alarm. Choice can work against society, can’t it?

Choice for parents using PGD is involved here, but it assumes that we can accurately predict disease (at terribly high cost I assume) and that we should be doing so. There’s all kinds of religious and philosophical discussion embedded there, right?

Nothing confuses us and stirs up more passion and controversy like mixing together parental passions, personal choice, my own sense of self-will and our amazing fear of suffering.

Folk Lore

Theology, like science, is sometimes obscured by layers of folk ideas. That doesn’t mean there isn’t anything worth knowing, and it certainly shouldn’t stop anyone pursuing it at a more rigorous level if they want to.

Maggi Dawn is responding to the ripples of Richard Dawson’s most recent ‘preaching’. (Do you think he’d be offended or complimented by that comment?)  She’s right – just because people buy into a variety of folk lore doesn’t mean there aren’t worthwhile things to think through, explore and discuss in both theology and science.

It has been interested to read such a diverse response to Dawson. I read a couple blogs where people love his work and I read a number of blogs who entirely dismiss him, attack him or disagree.

Closing a Chapter

I remember the day I filled out the application at Carrabba’s Italian Grill. It was a Monday, fairly early in the afternoon. We had eaten there the previous Friday night. My wife and I had talked about me getting a part-time job to help with expenses. I had fairly recently resigned from my church position and was pouring myself into finishing graduate school at break-neck speed. A small job to make a little money seemed frugal and to be something of a novelty. Filling out the application was something else. I hadn’t filled out an application for a job since undergraduate school. It felt terribly humbling in some ways. I met the assistant manager who immediately seemed to like me and want me to jump in with both feet. I would meet my boss (the propieter) the next day for about 10 seconds. I had no idea this part-time job would become such a part of my life for the next two and a half years.

I’ve complained plenty about working in this restaurant. The lack of leadership, discipline, focus and maturity has been a constant source of disappointment and anxiety. And I have tried repeatedly to mentor peers and supervisors, sometimes with little to show for the effort. I have wanted to quit on numerous occassions. But tonight, my final night on staff, I didn’t want to.

I know the reasons I’m walking away from this. I want to be significantly more available to people as a spiritual director and guide. I want to have more time and energy to think, pray, read and interact with others about Rivendell. I want to be more available during the week to people and to my family. But for this last week, its been hard to see all that.

And maybe that’s why I need to walk away the most. There’s something about working at the restaurant that clouds my vision, weakens my resolve and slows the steps of my call to vocational ministry. There are a number of elements of this that distract my passion and focus and that obviously weaken my disciplines. I know my decision to walk away is a good one and is the right one.

And everyone there seemed to understand that too. Most of the drama that highlights the nightly restaurant meladrama was present. There was a genuine appreciation for what I’ve given and some sweet sentiments expressed (including home-make cupcakes, some sugar cookies and a cake). I even spent some time at a company-wide party after work as a final farewell.

It was a bitter-sweet night. I had a moment as I left tonight where the place was empty and silent and I had it entirely to myself. And I did the only thing I knew to do – I prayed. I said something along this lines of this:

Thank you for this. I wound never have asked you to lead me into it, but being a server has been an amazing spiritual practice. I have learned so much about myself and about hospitality, business, integrity, teaching, evangelism and even wine and bartending. These 31 months have not been easy – quite regularly I have had at least one stretch a week where I’d have no real contact with my family for 48 hours straight. You’ve hammered at my pride, selfishness, personality and character through this. And you’ve used to me change a lot of people’s minds about what it means to be Christian.

Tonight was sweet and also pretty hard. There are still some conversations that feel unfinished; there are still some relationships that feel incomplete. There a couple folks I really hope I will still be able to stay connected with. But I have sensed this moment coming for at least a year. And financial need may drive me back, maybe. But its time.

Near the end of the night there was a spark that helped me finish in peace and confidence. Steve walked in. Jim came in almost a minute later. Then Lee and Kendra. Then Daniel. And at the last second (literally, the front door was locked) Mark. I can’t tell you all how much your presence meant to me and ministered to me. Thank you for being there. I didn’t know any of you when I started at the restaurant. But now I can’t imagine having finished without you.

Links of the Creative

I’ve been collecting a number of links to creative images, sites and ideas. Most of these I’ve saved from various postings on Boing Boing – which is a blog which posts at least 25 times a day with an amazing range of interests and views.

• There’s this crazy noodly Christmas light.
• The sudden break-out gift, the Gremlin faced moleskine.
• Have you seen the War on Terror board game?
• Check out these retro-future clockwork insects. Straight out of a Saturday morning serial or something.
• Speaking of retro-future – take a look at this watch. I’m still trying to figure out how to read it.
• Here’s a behind the scenes look at some of the ‘wow’ effects from ILM on Pirates of the Carribean 2.
• Amazing creative T-shirt designs from the Imaginary Foundation.
• Forget your giant plasma-screen fantasties (Steve) and find yourself a TV like this!
• A flickr pool of photos of Wii users in motion. There’s just a huge geek factor in using the controller in motion like that… I don’t know.
• Interesting pictures from an old Zoo in LA.
• A Supermodel in space. What grabs me about this the blending of images here – a retro, moonwalk space set and our obsession with fashion models – two fairly abandoned visions of progress.
• A circular calendar (once more around the sun) that allows for easier marking of trave dates and cross-day events. I like the round shape – just makes my life feel more ‘out of the box.’ There’s a pun in there somewhere.
• A collection of junk robot sculpture/creations. Very creative.
• A friday holiday party at Lucasm Limited.
• An amazing expanding table.
• How to make an R2D2 pinhole camera from your oatmeal box.
• Coffee mugs which feature civil liberties – which disappear based on the temperature. Yes, Virginia, there is a political comment embeded.
• I want the post-it pad that looks like an onion.
• You can’t miss this Gingerbread Tie-Fighter.
• Geek-girl jewelry.
• These carved crayons are a must see. I’ve done my fair share of carving on crayons, but the results were noticably different…
• Cactus inspired architecture.
• And everyone needs a designer USB drive, right?
• I know some folks that these anti-depressant pillows would be perfect for.
• The Waltz of the Polypeptides sculptures.
• And for the holidays, see the geek wreath for yourself.

Believe it or not, there are more… but I’ve got to something productive today.

The Customer is Not Always Right

“The customer is always right.” I assume that whoever coined the cliche was trying to make a dramatic impression on employees about customer service. And far too many businesses talk about customer service while doing everything possible to cut costs, minimize distractions, improve efficiency and, by default, create structures and cultures which actually minimize the attention, energy and effort given to customers. Kohl’s is my newest favorite example. My wife loves their ‘sales’ (which occur almost weekly and are obviously part of their normal pricing structure – yet she can take $15 and make it go further there than anyone would expect). I’ve heard a number of promotions and comments from Kohl’s about customer service – yet clearly their employees are not structured in such a way to be terribly available to customers. They are there to restock, organize, clean, and run the registers. This gives Kohl’s less staff and lower labor costs that other department stores – a competitive choice, right? But it comes at the expense of the confused, exhausted husband who is wandering around the vast women’s department looking for petite sizes and affordable wares. Oh well.

Plenty of us around Tulsa talk about how bad customer service is in this town. And it really is that bad. Maybe that’s true across the board in other cities and regions, but it’s a frequent topic of discussion here in Green Country. Story and after story proves that most of us are used to being ignored, forgotten, lied to or just given little thought when we shop, dine and interact with restaurants, pubs and businesses. Its really business as usual at most venues.

 

However, there is a flip side; customer conduct is also amazingly uncivilized and self-involved. People behave as if they are the new House Majority leader and deserve your undivided attention at all times. I don’t know if this is motivated out of dramatic insecurity or years and years ‘anything you want’ promises from retailers or just plain ole me-ism at its most pungent, but its something I see more and more of. People are just boorish.

 

Recently, at a bookstore coffee shop I watched a seemingly otherwise respectable looking grey-haired gentleman walk his elderly mother to a table and then get in line for a cup of Joe. He’s standing to a side while there are three other folks in line to order. When the dude with the apron doesn’t take his order within 20 seconds, he walks off, huffs audibly and tells his mother, “Mom, we just don’t have time, this guy can’t even take my order (and with overt sarcasm and a in louder voice) he’s just too busy.”

 

The guy then proceeds to mill through the magazine racks for the next 20 minutes. Later he goes out to his car, then returns and heads upstairs to look through some racks. Meanwhile, Mom sits at a table, looks around and does nothing. This goes on for another 30 minutes. During which most of the time, the coffee counter was without a line. In other words – he had time, she had plenty. He just didn’t think it was appropriate for him to wait in line like everyone else. And in the end, that’s fine. Don’t want to wait? Don’t. But to turn around and blame the apron-guy (who’s invariably working for minimum wage and a few benefits) for your impatience reveals either an amazing self-involvement or a tremendous anxiety.

 

I’m trying desperately to teach my children to look sales folks in the eyes, to speak politely, to listen and to treat folks with dignity. Of course, I’m having to teach myself that as well. I’ve decided that treating people with civility and kindness is more than good manners – its a spiritual practice of hospitality.

 

Both the apron-guy and I made up for his attitude. The apron-guy came out from behind the counter and asked the lady what she would like (decaf, with cream). After he brought it to her, I packed up my laptop, walked to the counter and handed him a $5.  Someone has to be civilized.

Proof that the times are a-changin’

For a guy who often sees himself as a change agent, and yet seems to resist change at the same time, I’ve got all kinds of proof that the times are a-changing…

I’m doing some duplicate posting right now… I’m toying with Google’s newest version of blogger and simultaneously with WordPress. I’ve heard some people ranting and raving about WordPress… somehow its feels so Mac-ish… we’ll see.

The drama at the restaurant is again reaching a new high. There are all kinds of signs of ultimate impending doom, and yet there are fresh buds of hope to be seen. And to think I’m walking out… Monday night will be my last day. It isn’t terribly often that people leave restaurants (indeed, any work setting?) on good terms in open, affirming relationships. We’ll see how this goes as well. By the way – if you’re around (and over 21) on Monday, come and have a drink at the bar with me – even water and bread – just to talk, reflect and have a little fun on this last night.
I’ve yet to post my annual “quit pushing Christmas on me” rant even though the stores had decorations out October 1 and I even got two Christmas cards the week of Thanksgiving – including one from my favorite troubadors. I’m still sick of the high-pitch, frenzied, finatical commercial push… but somehow I don’t feel a need to lash out as much. Hmmm. It can’t be that I’m more peaceful of a person, so…

 (warning: there is foul language ahead. If you are deeply offended by someone typing words that you would just die if your eight-year-old heard, much less said, don’t read further. Just imagine a cute amusing anecdote involving a deep-thinking theologian, a casual conversation and two blind field mice running across a wet floor)

And the final evidence that times are changing? I just read a paragraph in my email that included the words “good eschatology” and “holy shit” within mere words of one another.

The end is near, I just know it.

The Songs as a Prayer

I feel a need to re-rant from Sunday. For the record, I really enjoyed teaching Sunday. I loved the conversation, the questions, the insights everyone brought with them and shared. I think some of what I said sounded a little novel, but I hope it bears repeating.

All the natural imagery in the Song of Songs is marvelous and beautiful. It serves not only as a backdrop or set for the lovers in the poem, but nature itself shares the stage, basking in beauty and glory. The lovers turn to all this natural imagery to explore and express their desires and discovery for and in one another.

In the poem, nature is harmonious, kind and gentle. Just like their love, nature is never overpowering, dominneering or dangerous. Such is hardly the truth in real life. The Song knows nature to be sweet and harmonious. But the Psalms know better. Job too knows of the fury and storms of nature. Both nature and relationships are rarely so safe and harmonious. Both are filled with times of storm and suffering.

Remember the Song is first shared and celebrated in a culture very different from our own, with its own practices and experiences of life and love. Couples are brought together by contract and arrangnement, not dating or mutual friends. They meet, marry and then fall in love. Rarely does someone immediately love and relish their new life with their mate. Instead, they learn to love, learn to celebrate, learn to desire this new person.

The Songs stand as a longing, a dream, a prayer – a way of being with the untapped passion, the unfulfilled longing of our lives. They are a way of saying, “Please, Please God.”

We live in a time and place where we have so much longing, so much pent up passion and desire – and yet do such a terrible job of focusing that energy and angst anywhere healthy. Surely, there’s a way that this ancient poetry can teach us how to live with that longing; how to shape our yearnings and desires into prayer and calling out to God.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!